I used to live my life as a weekend warrior, always waiting for my next fix, which 9/10 times would lead to a full on two or three day binge where things would get messy and I would get ugly.
Weekends always left me feeling like a failure, and obviously hungover as all hell. My hangovers were the worst, as they would last for nearly a week and they weren't just physical, they were mental and emotional as well; mostly due to my social anxiety and my never ending battle with shame and guilt.
I would feel completely defeated and depressed for four days, feel good for one and be right back at it again; poisoning my body, mind and soul.
I always knew I was meant for more and that I wanted more from my life. I was constantly trying to be "normal." I would cook, eat healthy, go to school or work, volunteer, etc. But every single one of these efforts were minimized or lost with a single sip of drink (because it was never just a sip) .
Some would say I led somewhat of a double life. I was able to half ass a socially responsible life with my "normal friends" and family but my partying lifestyle and addictions always kept a tight grip on me. I knew that what I was doing felt wrong, especially when it got real bad, but I just couldn't stop. Eventually (3.5 years ago) it spiraled so far our of control that I reached out for help and this is when my journey to recovery truly began.
I had some slip ups along the way but I have been back on track full throttle since Feb 24th, 2019. I am grateful everyday for the choice I made to get sober. My life is infinitely better now. Having a clear mind and clear conscious, has allowed me to be honest with myself and come to terms with all that I must work on (and god knows it's a lot) and being sober has given me the strength and clarity to do the inner work needed to move closer to my true authentic self and live a limitless life of passion and purpose. Being able to start fresh and completely reinvent myself is such a blessing that I cannot begin to articulate.
Today I choose health & happiness Today...I am sober - I am wild - I am free. Today I am that much closer to the authentic me.
Andrea is from Edmonton in Canada and is another one of us sober peeps who openly shares her experience, strength and hope to reach out to others with a solution. You can follow her on IG @missmindfulsjourney
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